Those Pesky Thoughts
My devotions today included 2 Cor. 10:5 (an exhortation to take
captive every thought). For me, among other thoughts, that has included
arguing with myself about "I can't do more days of this" because well
"we can do all things..." Don't get me wrong -we've been making
memories - and I'm starting to realize a little bit what life somewhat
isolated on a mission station must have been like for my parents (hats
off to you Mom and Dad) but today has had more 'shake it off' moments
than some of our other days.
Today I said thank you that we don't currently have a newborn although we'll have one in under ten weeks. I have said thank you that I speak English and reside in my country of origin. I have said thank you to Disney for the creation of Duck Tales circa 1987 (and for Disney Plus) so that two out of three kids are distracted for a bit. Thank you whoever created the wonderful peanut butter filled pretzel - maybe George Washington Carver? Thank you General Mills for Chex Mix. And you can bet your boots we breathed a prayer of blessing over the first person who thought pouring hot water over ground coffee beans was a good idea - that concept was divinely inspired.
But, today I'm wrestling with dismissing one ugly thought. At our immediate address we have two 'high-risk' individuals, although the count goes much higher as we consider the family and friends who fall into this category. Here in Lisburn-land, it's Jamesey and I who make up the 'risky' category. Through the years Jamesey has been through multiple respiratory incidents - thankfully, he's been healthy this year. But, my mind keeps traveling into some unhealthy territory and asking "If Jamesey contracted COVID-19 and it (both his health and the overall pandemic) became even more severe (like it has in Italy, Spain, China), would he be one of the individuals deemed worthy of a ventilator?" I'm thankful this isn't a situation that we're facing, that we've been isolated for 12 days (and will stay distanced for the near future), because I'm not convinced that the world sees/would see Jamesey's worth if the worst would happen. Occasionally something happens that reminds me that the world values Jamesey differently than those that love him do. Many times he's underestimated because of what he can't do yet, rather than being treasured for who he is and what he does contribute to this beautiful world. The knowledge that he might be dismissed as not being valuable - well, that saddens, terrifies, worries, and angers me (among so many other emotions) - but it's also a thought that drives me to pray.
We are blessed with an incredible family/community who recognize the value of an individual regardless of voice or lack of voice. People who commit to teaching others that the marginalized of the world need to be fought for - and I am so thankful for this community of love.
But, what of the people outside our immediate circle? The people we don't know. This is the point where my thoughts really go fearful and I have to rein it in. So we choose to pray - pray for the healthcare staff in afflicted areas as they make devastating choices about life and death. Pray for the advocates, the families, the leadership and for the infected individuals, the first-responders, the grocery and pharmacy stockers - the people on the front-lines and their supporters. We pray for our world and celebrate the good that exists. We hope to leave our world a little better for our having been in it - your kids and ours, well, they certainly make the world a better place. And so we banish those pesky worst case scenario thoughts because they have no place.
Today I said thank you that we don't currently have a newborn although we'll have one in under ten weeks. I have said thank you that I speak English and reside in my country of origin. I have said thank you to Disney for the creation of Duck Tales circa 1987 (and for Disney Plus) so that two out of three kids are distracted for a bit. Thank you whoever created the wonderful peanut butter filled pretzel - maybe George Washington Carver? Thank you General Mills for Chex Mix. And you can bet your boots we breathed a prayer of blessing over the first person who thought pouring hot water over ground coffee beans was a good idea - that concept was divinely inspired.
But, today I'm wrestling with dismissing one ugly thought. At our immediate address we have two 'high-risk' individuals, although the count goes much higher as we consider the family and friends who fall into this category. Here in Lisburn-land, it's Jamesey and I who make up the 'risky' category. Through the years Jamesey has been through multiple respiratory incidents - thankfully, he's been healthy this year. But, my mind keeps traveling into some unhealthy territory and asking "If Jamesey contracted COVID-19 and it (both his health and the overall pandemic) became even more severe (like it has in Italy, Spain, China), would he be one of the individuals deemed worthy of a ventilator?" I'm thankful this isn't a situation that we're facing, that we've been isolated for 12 days (and will stay distanced for the near future), because I'm not convinced that the world sees/would see Jamesey's worth if the worst would happen. Occasionally something happens that reminds me that the world values Jamesey differently than those that love him do. Many times he's underestimated because of what he can't do yet, rather than being treasured for who he is and what he does contribute to this beautiful world. The knowledge that he might be dismissed as not being valuable - well, that saddens, terrifies, worries, and angers me (among so many other emotions) - but it's also a thought that drives me to pray.
We are blessed with an incredible family/community who recognize the value of an individual regardless of voice or lack of voice. People who commit to teaching others that the marginalized of the world need to be fought for - and I am so thankful for this community of love.
But, what of the people outside our immediate circle? The people we don't know. This is the point where my thoughts really go fearful and I have to rein it in. So we choose to pray - pray for the healthcare staff in afflicted areas as they make devastating choices about life and death. Pray for the advocates, the families, the leadership and for the infected individuals, the first-responders, the grocery and pharmacy stockers - the people on the front-lines and their supporters. We pray for our world and celebrate the good that exists. We hope to leave our world a little better for our having been in it - your kids and ours, well, they certainly make the world a better place. And so we banish those pesky worst case scenario thoughts because they have no place.
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